I'm a Music Therapist

Clinical presence. It’s all about creating a clear, safe environment for therapy to happen within.  As a music therapist, it’s a vital element that can make or break my sessions. When I was a student music therapist, this was something I struggled with because I (wrongly) thought clinical presence was something only extroverts had. Working with people, I misperceived that I needed to be an outgoing, bubbly, and dynamic with every client to be productive. I fought against my quieter nature, thinking I had to change something about myself to do good work. Turns out, I was wrong.

Being an introvert is not incompatible with being a music therapist. I just want to say that right away, because I didn’t believe this as a student and intern. First off, a quick definition of introversion. When someone is an introvert, it means their energy dwindles with too much interaction and expands through reflection.1 Extroverts are opposite in terms of energy restoration; they thrive on interaction. Introverts are not necessarily shy. We may prefer to observe or analyze a situation before speaking or engaging and may prefer solitary activities that are less stimulating. Of course, no one is completely introverted or extroverted. Everyone is on a continuum between the two.

While earning my bachelor’s degree in music therapy, I needed to reconcile my introversion with the reality that my work involved being in contact with many people and large groups. For me, finding a comfortable balance meant forgetting about my person. Being a music therapist means putting yourself out there, but not your whole self. When I’m leading large groups of more than twenty people, I step into the role of their music therapist. I leave the insecurities of my individual  behind.

This might sound odd, but some days it feels like I flip a switch to get into my “music therapy mode”. I leave my baggage of the day behind and become a more engaging, less self-conscious version of myself. My voice gets louder, my movements are more animated, and I am more honed in on my clients’ needs and responses. As an introvert, it’s not a pattern I could sustain indefinitely but for my time at work (and especially during music therapy sessions), my energy is more outgoing.

As a new professional, my introversion is still something of which I need to be conscious. Where I am today happened after years of feedback from professors, supervisors, and peers on how I can create a better clinical environment for my clients. I misperceived a lot of qualities I needed to have. Instead of being outgoing, I needed to be open to reaching out to people I didn’t know. Instead of being bubbly, I learned it’s more important to be genuine. And instead of being dynamic, I found I needed to be enthusiastic about the music therapy process.

Last month, I was talking with some participants of the memory-loss program I work with about advice they would give to a younger generation. I looked back on how far I had come from being a student to where I am now and I wrote this: “Don’t let fear hold you back. Be enthusiastic and genuine, and people will forgive the hiccups.” Music therapy is not about being the perfect therapist, whether introverted or extroverted. Every session is different. Try new things, put yourself out there, be thoughtful and clinical presence will follow.

References

1.Helgoe, Laurie (2008). “Introvert Power: Why Your Inner Life is Your Hidden Strength”. Naperville, Illinois: Sourcebooks, Inc.